SNL Short.. UNCENSORED.

it's fun to stay at the...

Real men Wii standing up

 

Browsing the various Nintendo Wii forums around the web, I've noticed more and more people pratically bragging that they play the Wii sitting down, flicking their wrists instead of the beautiful and healthful full-body motion that nature intended. These couch potatoes shall not be suffered. For the Wii purist, I made this prototype for a tshirt:

A ladies version is also in the works, even though the pun doesn't work as well.

Source: Real men Wii standing up
Originally published on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 17:02:06 GMT

US Music Publishers Sue AllofMP3 for $1.65 Trillion USD

 

In a move curious only due to its relatively late timing, the major record production labels in the US have filed suit in federal court against Russian online music distributor AllofMP3.com, seeking $150,000 USD for each single violation of copyright infringement for tracks the site posted without authorization.

Source: US Music Publishers Sue AllofMP3 for $1.65 Trillion USD
Originally published on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:44:22 GMT

==================================================

Who needs bands anymore.. just sue the shit out of websites.    Jesus...  Here's a hint to all would be bands out there.. you want to get known?  publish your shit yourself.  DO NOT even TRY to get a label.  You don't get jack anyway.  Fuck the RIAA.   You don't need them.. really. 

Twas the night before doom's day

Twas the night before doom's day
and all through the house everyone
felt shitty, even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse and
Dad smoking grass, and I just
settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn I heard
such a clatter, I sprang from my piece
to see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn I saw a
big dick, I knew in a moment
it must be St. Prick.

He came down from the chimney like
a bat out of hell, I knew in a
moment the fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings with
pretzels and beer, and a big rubber
dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a
thunderous fart, the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he rode
out of sight, "Piss on you all and
have one hell of a night!!!"

Whatever Happened To Jesus Christ's Foreskin?

 

Few Catholic artifacts are as mysterious and as fraught with controversy as the foreskin of Jesus Christ, the only part of the Messiah left on Earth after his Divine Ascension.

After being lost for almost 1500 years, Christ's foreskin (known as the Holy Prepuce) was discovered in the small Roman town of Calcata, disproving a theory by 17th century theologian Leo Allatius that it ascended into heaven to become the rings of Saturn. The Holy Foreskin was immediately attributed with numerous divine miracles, including perfumed mists and freak storms. It supposedly had divine attributes: rubbing it upon the eyelids of the blind could make them see.

But in 1900, another holy foreskin showed up, this time in France. At this point, even the Catholic Church was starting to be a little bit ashamed of their little slice of Jesus and it was decreed that anyone who even spoke of the Holy Foreskin would be excommunicated and burn in hell forever.

Yet that didn't stop people from obsessing about it and in 1983, it mysteriously disappeared. Now David Farley of Slate wonders what happened: was it really stolen by sacrilegious thieves? Or were black-masked ninjas on a cleaning mission from the Vatican itself responsible for spiriting away the decaying sheath of Christ's dick in the middle of the night? We may never know what really happened to Jesus' foreskin.

Fore Shame [Slate]

 

Source: Whatever Happened To Jesus Christ's Foreskin?
Originally published on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:00:00 GMT

Family Guy Voices

I've always wondered...

So, as the three wise men enter the stable in Bethlehem, the tallestof the three smacks his head on the low doorway.He exclaims, "Jesus Christ!"Joseph says to Mary, "Write that down, I like that better than 'Derek'."

Superheroes on Screen - Dogs Can Be Heroes Too

 

I sure hope this is better than Garfield

Source: Superheroes on Screen - Dogs Can Be Heroes Too
Originally published on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:27:00 GMT by Chip Chief

.. I can't be the only one that liked the theme song..

BABY FART!! HILARIOUS!!!

Video of a farting baby, BEST FART EVER :D

[Video] Iraqi Kids Learn English

 

US Soldiers help Iraqi Children learn their first English words.

 

Source: [Video] Iraqi Kids Learn English
Originally published on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 05:00:00 GMT

Calc5: Quick online graphing calculator

 

What does the 5 in Calc5 stand for? I have no idea. Rest assured, though, that this slick Ajax calculator does support most numbers, including those greater than five. At first blush there's not a lot to set Calc5 apart from the crowd. It works as advertised. But then you get into the advanced math and graphing functions, and that's where Calc5 really stands out. While it's distinctly lacking in documentation, the built-in samples will get you started. You can use unlimited variables, you can do derivations, you can find derivatives, and more, but most impressively you can make fast, attractive graphs, both 2D and 3D. The 2D graphs are very cool--smooth lines, and a Google Maps-like interface that lets you pan and zoom with the mouse. The 3D graphs aren't quite as cool--they lack the pan and zoom features--but still. 3D graphs will always be cool. The site automatically saves your previous calculations (via cookies), which is handy, but there's no built-in permalink system for sending calculations or graphs to your friends and colleagues. I can only assume this functionality is coming.
There are a couple undocumented features (well the whole app is undocumented, so take that how you will) I discovered that you might find useful, though:

1. Pressing Ctrl+Enter is equivalent to clicking the "OK" button. Very handy.
2. You can link to an equation by putting it after a pound sign following the URL. So if you wanted to help your friend solve, say, 2+2, you could point them to calc5.com/#2+2. Your friend will still have to click on the "OK" button (I hope this changes soon), but it works. First person to send me a Calc5 link for the Valenzetti Equation gets a free trip on Oceanic Airlines.

Calc5 is fairly powerful, especially with those graphing features, but it's clearly still very beta. Once they get some real documentation in there and some more convenience features, it could become indispensable. For now I'll probably stick to Google Calculator for the easy stuff, and Instacalc for the more complex stuff--unless I need to do some advanced graphing.

Source: Calc5: Quick online graphing calculator
Originally published on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:00:00 GMT by Jordan Running

OH man.. =(

A 13 year old boy was transported to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis today after taking 15 of his father's Viagra tablets.He's in serious condition with 3rd degree burns to both palms.

CNET's James Kim and family missing -- have you seen them?

CNET's James Kim and family missing -- have you seen them?
Posted Nov 30th 2006 8:45PM by Ryan BlockFiled under: Announcements
We've received word that a respected member of our tech community, James Kim (whom many of you may know as CNET's senior editor of digital audio), and his family have gone missing. As we understand it, last weekend James, his wife Kati (above right), and his very young girls Penelope (left) and Sabine (baby), drove from their home in the SF Bay Area to Seattle. They were expected back some time Sunday, but were last seen by a hotel clerk at 5:45 PM on Saturday in or between Gold Beach or Portland, Oregon. We sincerely do hope they are all safe, and our hearts go out to the Kim family.We'll have more information as we get it. If you have any information as to the Kim family's whereabouts, please contact the SFPD at 415-558-5508 during normal business hours, and 415-553-1071 after hours
===========================
Update: it's worse then that.. He's dead jim.
my thoughts and prayers go to the family, and praise to the internet for trying to do all to help this family out in a time of need.

an open letter to '(Dr. WhoAmI)'

*sigh* Well it's been a while I guess since I've needed to take a stance for total morons on the internet. Look, R-Tard. I didn't ASK for your SPAM. I didn't request for you to post a 3 page 'comment' that has NOTHING to do with the blog that you posted to.

That proves that you are a total dumb-ass. But you just needed to bring the Bible and God into the post.. *Sigh* I'll tell you what I pray for. I pray that ass-hats like you won't be able to breed so soon the internet will be free from useless sub-humans like yourself.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. God made cliffs for spammers like yourself to JUMP OFF of.

Look at this.. not only do you waste my time by needed to delete your stupid posts, but then you force me to call you all sorts of names and try to explain how you should just leave the whole world alone.

How to make your computer...

... lower your heat bill!

Step #1: Take off your Case.
Step #2: Calculate PI.
or
run the most graphics intensive screen saver you can find.


hmm.. Toasty!

Parenthood

-- If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

-- Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

-- The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. -- Avenge yourself

-- live long enough to be a problem to your children.

-- The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere and hide the keys to the car.

-- Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

-- The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

-- Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

-- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

-- Grandparents are similar to a piece of string; handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

-- There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

-- Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

-- Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

-- Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

-- Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

-- An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.

I used to think...

I used to think there was a time and place for everything...
... until I just caught a workmate doing the 'Funky Chicken' in the hallway.



(and I really wish this was a figment of my imagination)

New Computer Viruses

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking forviruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causeslittle purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting andre-counting

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, thene-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, butwill be back

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy...then discards it through windows..

How to Memorize a Deck of Cards

How to Memorize a Deck of Cards Imagine being able to memorize the order of cards in an entire deck (or two) as quickly as they can be dealt. The secret of the card counters is a secret no more. Using the memory palace technique below, you too can memorize a random deck of cards in order with one viewing. It takes a little time to set up, but once you've got it down, you'll be able to amaze your friends.... Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Memorize-a-Deck-of-Cards

How to Discover the History of Your House

How to Discover the History of Your House If walls could speak, oh, the stories your house would tell… If you own an older home, you've probably at some point wondered who slept in your bedroom long before you, when your plumbing was last updated, or, maybe, why that ghost keeps hiding your car keys. Want to get a glimpse into the secret past of your abode? Try these steps.... Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Research-the-History-of-Your-House

I couldn't help but laugh at this...

Teenage Suicide; Cryptic Signature Leave Authorities Guessing.Miami, FL.
Trent Boozle.

A suicide note left by a troubled South Florida teen has sparked a extensive investigation into the meaning or identity of "kthxbai". The parents of the teen have expressed nothing but puzzlement at the bizarre signature supposedly left by their son of seventeen years. "[our son] was always a good kid." The boys mother said during an interview, "though he did spend all of his time sitting at his computer".The case, which was originally concluded to be an obvious suicide, has recently been re-opened after the parents demanded a more in-depth investigation considering the seemingly random group of letters the teen used to sign his final farewell."At first we thought it was some kind of 'word jumble' our boy left us in his final farewell", said the boys father, "We spent two weeks trying to figure it out, but it led us no where."Extensive InvestigationThe Miami Police Dept. have enlisted the assistance of their computer crimes task force to find out if there is more to this situation than a standard suicide."This is one of the harder tasks that we've dealt with here, simply because the only person who knowswhat these letters, [kthxbai], mean has taken this knowledge to the grave", states Felicia Reven, lead detective of the Computer Crimes Task Force in Miami.Currently, the Miami P.D. has five Detectives from the Computer Crime Task Force utilizing the majority of their high-tech machines to track down and decipher the 'code', and they estimate that it could take up to six weeks before they see any results.For now, authorities are asking that anyone with any knowledge about the meaning or identity of "kthxbai" to please come forward. Any information on the case can be direct to the Miami Police Dept. Computer Crimes Unit by clicking Here.

Bill Gates Inside Doom

Bill is explaining how the future of gaming is Windows 95.

Never before seen family guy clip uncensored

Clip that was removed due to obvious reasons. it was meant to shock a response out of seth green during screening. [THIS IS ADULT FOLKS] IT'S NOT WORK SAFE NOR MENT TO BE VIEWED BY ANYONE WHERE IT'S ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO VIEW IT.]

It's Coming (9/17/02)

It's Coming (9/17/02)
================================
It's rolling in.
I can see it coming.
rolling and bellowing like smoke.
it's coming...

I can't run away.
I can not hide.
slowly it creeps closer
it's coming.

I can feel the cold.
the dark hand that grasps for my soul.
I try to run.
it's coming.

Face it head on.
soul full of hope.
I'm met with the hardness of the ground.
it's coming.

I run away.
faster and faster.
I look back.
it's coming.

darkness fills my mind.
my heart grows cold.
totally alone.
it's coming.

a voice in my head
a dark whisper
evil in all senses.
I'm here...

No farts!!

Wouldn't have just been easier to state: "NO FARTING!!"

I think the life cycle is all backwards

"I think the life cycle is all backwards

You should start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,
Then
When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
Ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no
Responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
Spa-like
Conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters
Everyday,

--- and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case."

Complaint Letters to Landlords

Complaint Letters to Landlords
This is why English is so important in school.

1) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2) I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3) This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

5) I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

6) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

7) The person next door has a large erection in his back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

8) Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

9) Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

10) Will you please send a man to look at my water,
it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

11) Would you please send a man to repair my down spout.
I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.

12) Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap.
My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

13) I want to complain about the farmer across the road.
Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up,
and it is getting too much.

14) When the workmen were here they put their tools
in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job
and keep my wife happy.

Time to cringe...

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

 
 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 
 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:   "A beer please, and one for the road."

 
 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

 
7. "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

 "Is it common?"

Well, "It's not unusual."

 

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to  Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

 "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

 

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

 

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

 

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

 14. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

15. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

 After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

 

 "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

16. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

 

 One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Up on receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

 

 Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

 

 17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him ...

  A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

18. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did.

Endurance Challenge Mordred's Isle: Episode 1

Billy West rocks!!!

Grease is the word.

Like Grease (the Movie/Play)? 
Like Parodys?   
Then this is just to messed up NOT to watch.. LOL

Greaser

Uncle Vader wants you...

 

 

Nothing more to say...

 

Memory Alpha

Main Page - Memory Alpha: "Welcome to Memory Alpha, a collaborative project to create the most definitive, accurate, and accessible encyclopedia and reference for everything related to Star Trek.

Started in November 2003 - Currently working on 20,304 articles - Join Memory Alpha and learn how to contribute"

and You think YOU are a Star trek fan?? Get out of the basment my friend(s), because this guy blows your knowleage out of the water.

WoW Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah

A world of warcraft music video. Music by lordi with the ESC 2006 winning song. Current game, plus my current favorite group.. can't go wrong!!!! The power of Lordi comples thee....

Apollo 11 'UFO' - Buzz Aldrin

Buzz Aldrin talks about the 'UFO' which the Apollo 11 crew saw on their way to the moon. He explains why they didn't describe it explicitly to Houston: “...those transmissions would be heard by all sorts of people and who knows what somebody would’ve demanded - we turn back because of aliens, or whatever the reason is.” Dr David Baker, senior Apollo scientist: "The possibility that you might encounter aliens in space has to be considered in a very sensible and positive and realistic way; there were a lot of people within the program who went off later and became convinced that UFOs existed.” Excerpted from “Apollo 11: The Untold Story”. NASA: “I just talked to Buzz Aldrin...and he notes that the quotations were taken out of context and did not convey the intended meaning. After the...crew verified that it...was not the SIV-B upper stage...they concluded that they were probably seeing one of the panels from the separation of the spacecraft from the upper stage. These panels were not tracked from Earth and were likely much closer to the Apollo spacecraft....Apparently all of this discussion about the panels was cut from the broadcast interview, thus giving the impression that they had seen a UFO.” - David Morrison, NAI Senior Scientist, 7/26/06 http://nai.arc.nasa.gov/astrobio/astrobio_detail.cfm?ID=1568

LED

This is just cool. A water fountain using UV strobe lights, luminescent-dyed water, and a timer to create the illusion of water stopping in the air, slowing down the splashes into the pool beneath, and even travelling backwards.

AOL Search Data Shows Users Planning to commit Murder.

http://research.aol.com released a list of 20 million + searches by 500,000 AOL users. Contained in this list are social security numbers, credit cards and other personal information. There are some truly scary things in this database. User 17556639 is constantly trying to find ways of killing his wife.
=================================================

I really just can't believe this. WHO was the moron that thought this would be a good idea?
law enforcement perhaps, but then again, I don't want big brother looking over my shoulder at any given time. We live in a FREE country, which means we take the good with the bad.
Some people (like spammers) are fucktards that should be removed from the gene pool.
we deal with it because most of the people out there are good natured people. Good with the bad. THIS, on the other hand, is just ASKING for the Goverment to control our ever day lives.

They say there's no way to 'track' you.. BS. If they have these logging data you can be damn sure they have your IP address. If they have your IP address, then they have your User/Pass. if they have your User/pass they have your account information that includes your name, and address.

Search for 'How to kill my wife' and have the cops on your door step in 30 seconds falt.
sounds good in theory doesn't it? What if you wheren't the the one the searched for it?
what if if was your wife? brother? some jack-ass that broke into your house?.. worse yet, some black hat that searchs AOL for those 'nasty' things.. but it's all coming from YOUR computer?!
you've been framed. What if 'how to kill my wife' was really a movie or a book title? Perhaps a snuff film?

Point is, there's no way for anyone to really know the context of which the search was done. yes it would be possible to save lives, but there's too many ass holes out there that will use that information for their own personal gain, misinformation, and getting people into trouble because they just don't like you.

Think about that one for a moment.. All of a sudden the bully at High School has all your personal information; your likes, dislikes, favorite routes to walk to and from school, your classes, friends names, license plate, football games, band contests.

This fucking scares the jeebus out of me.

Deckchair trapped testicles

Ananova - Deckchair trapped testicles:
"Deckchair trapped testicles

A Croatian man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deck chair and found his testicles had got stuck.
Mario Visnjic had gone swimming naked in the sea at the Valalta beach in western Croatia, reports 24sata.
His testicles had shrunk while in the cool sea and slipped through the wooden slats when he sat back down on his wooden deckchair.
But as he lay in the sun they expanded back to normal size and got stuck between the slats.
He was eventually freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deck chair in half."
------------
This has got to be true.. you can't make crap like this up.. LOL

Bomb

WTF, Mate?! F*&king kangaroos

Star Wars: Blogs | Lucas Online | YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos

Star Wars: Blogs Lucas Online YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos: "YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos

Lucasfilm has been informed that YouTube recently removed from its site several fan-made Star Wars spoofs and parodies. We would like the fan film community to know that this was not done at our request.

Apparently the action was taken by YouTube as a result of a misunderstanding of a request to remove an item containing material taken from starwars.com without our permission. We have asked YouTube to restore any works that they inadvertently removed."

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

One person made a comment..
It's like you can't help but watch.. Like Nascar.. you're just hoping that someone is going to fall...

Man skydives with turbine engines strapped to his feet.

Man skydives with turbine engines strapped to his feet! And mantaines a 2000 meter flight path until the fuel tanks run out.. Freaking cool!

I WAS ROBBED!!!

 

Kittenwar! May The Cutest Kitten Win!

Kittenwar! May The Cutest Kitten Win!

Great site! It's like 'RatemyX' or HotorNot for Cats!!!

Joke...

Like most puppies, mine is not finicky about what he puts in his mouth. He eats anything. But the day he swallowed a quarter, I panicked and called the vet.

"What should I do"? I pleaded over the phone.

My extremely laid-back vet answered calmly, "Swallowing a quarter is nothing to worry about. But if he does it again and a can of pop shoots out of his rear, give me a call."

Small Talk

This is freaking Funny...

Teacher Arrested At New York's Kennedy airport today

Teacher ArrestedAt New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of th e axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Yes!!! and let us watch..

 

*blink* *blink*

O.o 

Strong Bad rules...

Now this is how you make those stupid posters. 

Knights of the Round Table (Search for the holy Grail) - Star Trek TOS Edition..

Well I can't embed this Video due to request of the person that posted it.

However, you can see it if you follow the links.
IMDb] done to scenes from Star Trek the Orginal Series.

Freaking FUNNY!!!!!!!
This brings out the Pogo.
-----------------------------------------
Update 06:45 PM
Well it DID bring out the Pogo, until the owner removed it from you Tube..
GRRRRRRRR

Letterman's Top 10 George W. Bush Moments

Another friend Quote...

"If you aren't cheating you aren't really trying..."

and you all wonder where I get it.. just look at the people I hang out with.. hehehe

Dragonlance. The Movie

Ok, now this could be cool. An Animated Movies based on the 'Dragons of Autumn Twlight' Book.

Cast:
Tanis Half-Elven: Michael Rosenbaum
Raistlin Majere: Kiefer Sutherland
Goldmoon: Lucy Lawless
Tasslehoff Burrfoot: Jason Marsden

Verminaard: David Sobolov
Flint Fireforge / Fewmaster Toede: Fred Tatasciore
Tika Waylan: Michelle Trachtenberg
Caramon Majere: Rino Romano
Fizban The Fabulous: Neil Ross
Sturm Brightblade: Mark Worden
Riverwind & Gilthanas: Phil Lamarr
Bupu: Jentle Phoenix
Laurana: Caroline Gelabert
Takhisis: Nikka Futterman
The Forestmaster: Mari Weiss
Elistan: Ben McCain
Pyros: Dee Bradley Baker
Flamestrike: Susan Silo
Onyx: Juliette Cohen

More information at the source. =)

Just too funny.

This was just too funny not to share.. =)

 

MY Xbox360 scares me...

My 360 sent me an Email this morning..

PogoWolf hit the switch and fired me up yesterday. His total gamer score is 190. He played Geometry Wars Evolved, Frogger, and then I was like, 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101... I'm just kidding, we don't really talk like that.

Quotes...

"it was the stupidity of her dumb ass that was the straw that derailed the dumbass tolerance train"
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I love my friends...

PogoWolf.com Update

07/12/06 - http://www.pogowolf.com update

Nope, still not dead yet. (You all wish). Lets see, I've added some more girls to the Gallery and some MP3's to the files area (they are PD) just for testing and sharing. Also, I'm working on a whole new layout, feel, and design of PogoWolf.com.. it's coming.. slowly.. I'm also working on a new RSS system for GamersVue so that's taking some time out of an already busy life.. on top of that, i just got PREY.. so, of course, I need to beat it. Which should be tonight.
[Source]

Humor...

This was sent to me via IM from a friend of mine...

=================
I am nool about it I am not mad just a bit de de deeee for making such a dumb mistake
not* not nool
NO wait that was supposed to be cool
not nool or not
=================

And I thought it was funny and wanted to embarrass them on the internet..

Self-Stirring Mug

This mug has a miniature battery-operated propeller at the bottom of the well that spins at 3,000 rpms at the touch of a button on the handle, automatically stirring your beverage and eliminating the need to dispose of stirrers or find a place to leave coffee-dampened spoons. At your command the propeller re-stirs mugs of hot chocolate, coffee, or tea, preventing chocolate or sugar from settling out of solution, and overcoming the traditional challenge of adequately mixing honey in a hot drink. The mug includes a lid to keep contents from spilling and to retain heat, and the lid can be placed underneath the mugs base as an impromptu coaster. The mug is lightweight injection-molded plastic sheathed in a stainless steel exterior. 

I guess it was only a matter of time...

More RIAA Foolishness Vias LockerGnome

If you’re not familiar with youtube.com, you’re missing a real treat. Thousands of videos are uploaded by people and shared for your viewing pleasure. Some aren’t so great, and some are plain stupid, but there are some real gems. I’ve gotten to see some music videos that I haven’t seen in years. But now the RIAA is in a panic again and sending out cease and desist letters. Does the RIAA have a clue as…

Wierd Al Interviews Eminem

AL TV: Wierd Al Interviews Eminem

Ok, Who farted?

It would seem that someone within the "royal ranks" passed wind whilst on the balcony much to the amusement of all.Notice HM the Queen's face in the first two photo's, then look at her final expression in picture three. How guilty does HRH the Duke of Edinburgh look? 

A FIRE RAINBOW

This is a Fire Rainbow. - The rarest of all naturally occuring atmospheric phenomena. THE PICTURE WAS CAPTURED ON THE IDAHO/WASHINGTON BORDER. THE EVENT LASTED ABOUT 1 HOUR. CLOUDS HAVE TO BE CIRRUS, AT LEAST 20K FEET IN THE AIR, WITH JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ICE CRYSTALS AND THE SUN HAS TO HIT THE CLOUDS AT PRCEISELY 58 DEGREES. 

Wow...

Well now, let's hope this works. It's a really great Animated GIF.

My huge Cock...

So, I was talking to hot babes on the internet the other day, and one of them asked to see my huge cock... 

Only in America....

Talk about lazy...

 

Understanding Computers..

Yep. That just about explains everything... 

Document Control by the Monks

Document Control by the Monks

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abott. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, ' After all these years ... the word was ' celebrate '.' "

Twinkie Lasagna?

Seems there's a new cook book on the market. The 'Twinkies Cookbook', by Theresa Cogswell, has new recipes for great dishes such as the 'Twinkie Burrito' or the 'Twinkie Lasagna'. Just two of the 50 recipes in the book. The cookbook was created as a part of Twinkies' 75th anniversary celebration last year.

All I can say is, EEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwww

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican

"The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope

Dopey leads the pack. Dopey my son ,' says the Pope 'what can I do for you?'

Dopey asks, 'Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, 'No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers Dopey, 'there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .'

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, 'Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, 'I'm sorry my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor - tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting: 'Dopey shagged a penguin!' 'Dopey shagged a penguin!'"

Like I need to say anything...

 

Lifes Choices...

God, this would be like taking the Kobayashi Maru test! 

Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com: "Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted"
Wed Jun 14, 2006 06:50 AM ET

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian state has removed nursery rhymes such as 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' and 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' from its primary school syllabus because they are 'too Western,' newspapers said Wednesday.
The government in the central state of Madhya Pradesh, run by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, dropped the rhymes, immensely popular with millions of Indian children, from its Class I syllabus taught to five-year-olds.
'We want our children to have value education in local color,' the Hindustan Times quoted Narottam Mishra, the state's school education minister as saying.
Children will now learn English-language rhymes written by Indian poets, papers said.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved. "
===============================================
And we send our jobs there... What does this tell you 'Big Business'?

I always wondered who would win in a fight...

.. and it's UPS over FEDEX with a KO in the 3rd round!

 

Fucking Spam..

Look everyone!!!! There's another stupid fuck on the planet earth. How about this.. we take all the spammers wasting our time (because we have to delete it.. duh) and shoot them off into space?! That would be like cool and stuff.

This time the asshat of the day goes out to: (drum roll) Pharmamx dot com!! Wow.. what a bunch of fucking jerks. Did I ASK for you to spam me (on a BLOG no less) about your crap 'low prices?' DID I fucking request information from your company? DID I create this blog so that ONE person (me) can read your SPAM?

HELL NO.

Die, Spammer. Really. no one loves you. You don't amount to anything. You're parents hate you and want to tell you that you where nothing but a mistake the milk man made with your web footed whore of a mother.

Please, go jump off a cliff and make everyone happy. Hell, that's why God put cliffs on the earth in the first place, so dumb fucks like yourself could have a place to kill themselves easily.

So do me, God, and the rest of the earth a favor and take care of your unwanted, wasted live.
end it.


(Naaaa.. I love spammers.)

Amber Alerts and the stupid humans that cause them.

We saw an Amber Alert last night here in my home state. If any of you saw it, it has ended in the death of a 4 year old, attempted murder of a 2 year old and suicide attempt of their father.
=================================================================

My heart goes out to the the mother. I'm Sorry for the lose of your child. I'm sorry that your 'mate' did this to you and your family. No one could ever need to go though such a thing.
and I can feel your pain and suffering.


As for the 'father' errr.. Sperm donor.
You have GOT to be the dumbest asshole I've ever had the displeasure to even hear about.
What the fuck where you thinking?? Jesus, I'm surprised as hell that God hasn't smite your
ass already for being a dumb fuck. I know that the Bible says that God loves all his children..
but damn you should have been an abortion.

What in the world gives you the right, to do what you did? Seriously? What.. where you sitting
at home, pissed off that your wife left you (for good reason , I see.. at least SHE's smart)
and thought to yourself.. Self? I think I'm going to kidnap my two kids and kill them.
and then so I don't need to go to jail..I'll kill myself afterwards!!! Yeah!!! that'll be a great
idea!!! I'm so smart.. I make things go.. Then you ran to the door, put your helmet on
and rode your bike with training wheels to her parents house?

and what excuses are you going to try to come up with? Are you going to be a MAN
and say.. "Yeah, I did it. I'm sorry. Give me my punishment." or are you going to
be a little asshat and say that you weren't in your right mind because your wife
left you?

Guess what jackass.. THAT IS NO EXCUSE. YOU KILLED YOUR OWN CHILD!
YOU made the choice and I pray to every higher power in the universe that in jail
your ass will be OWNED by Bubba AND his bitches.

AND I pray that you will be reminded every day of your life just what you did.
Welcome to Hell.

It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species

posted: 13 June 2006 (LInk above for the whole article)

Steven Hawking said:
"It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species," Hawking said. "Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."

You know.. I think that's the dumbest thing I've heard come out of the mane. Really.. think about what he said:

Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."


So we can colonize other planets.. and do the same thing.

Stupid Humans.

Get over yourself. Get over the greed for money and power.
AND STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY.
.. and guess what? we wouldn't have a problem.

Sorry Officer.. I wanted to make sure you could get that glazed donut...

Someone has a good point.. that would be my reason for speeding. 

Hillybilly Overalls...

You know.. Someone.. Somewhere.. thought THIS was a good idea... 

How NOT to steal a SideKick II

How NOT to steal a SideKick II: "http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/
June 6th, 2006: The people in the pictures below have my friend’s T-Mobile Sidekick. Instead of doing the honorable thing when finding someone’s phone in a taxi, they instead kept it.
I have found 8 cell phones in the last couple years in taxis. EVERY single one I have contacted the owner (by leaving a message on their voice mail or by answering their phone and telling their friends that I have the phone) and returned it promptly. When people have found my phone, they have also in turn returned it.
=================================================
This is sad on more then one level. Why must humans be so freaking stupid that you need a website like this to tell you you are stupid?

Good luck man, and I hope your friend get's her Sidekick.. and I REALLY hope the morons that stole it in the first place don't have anymore children.. Stupid people should not be allowed to breed.

One reason why it is important to learn English when you live in the United States

I can give you at least one reason why it is important to learn English when you live in the United States....... 

No really...

Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself...

Always check before taking that beautiful portrait.

Always check before taking that beautiful portrait.