Twas the night before doom's day
and all through the house everyone
felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse and
Dad smoking grass, and I just
settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard
such a clatter, I sprang from my piece
to see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a
big dick, I knew in a moment
it must be St. Prick.
He came down from the chimney like
a bat out of hell, I knew in a
moment the fucker had fell.
He filled all the stockings with
pretzels and beer, and a big rubber
dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a
thunderous fart, the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he rode
out of sight, "Piss on you all and
have one hell of a night!!!"
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