Moral of the story? Don't believe everything you read.

Dear Dr Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regardingGod's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to sharethat knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries todefend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them thatLeviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specificlaws and how to best follow them. When I burn a bull on the altar as asacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9).The problem is my neighbors -- they claim the odor is not pleasing tothem and counter by burning patchouli incense and those damnedCitronella candles all night long. I hate patchouli!!! How should Ideal with this?

I would also like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests inExodus 21:7. After all, times are tight with these rising gasolineprices and I seem to remember reading something about incest in theBible but I can't find the exact passage and I'm a little bit worriedfor myself right now. In this day and age, what would you estimate fairmarket value to be? I know that I am allowed no contact with a womanwhile she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24).The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women takeoffense and I can never unwrap all those wads of toilet paper in thetrash can so as to verify before they walk in on me and catch me in theact. Lev 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are aroundus but a friend of mine claims that this applies only to Mexicans andnot Canadians. And what of all those island nations in the Caribbean?Beyond that, Russia is fairly close to Alaska and the Mail Order Bridebusiness seems to be just fine by them. Can you clarify?

Also, I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. No, notOzzy...he's straight and married. That is what you call it, right?Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morallyobligated to kill him myself? In addition, if I was and then chose tokill him on a Sunday, would this be considered work and doom me to thesame fate. Sunday is a pretty open day for me and the neighborhood ispretty empty with all the Holy Rollers trying to buy their salvation bythrowing money into a wooden plate.

What else? Oh yeah, a friend of mine feels that even though eatingshellfish is an abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination thanhomosexuality. I don't agree. Have you ever witnessed the brutalkilling of a shellfish? It's horrible! Can you settle this for me? Lev21:18-21 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have adefect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Doesmy vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I had hoped Jesus would have returned by now to cure all the problems ofthe world and though I've been looking for him on the evangelicalhealing tour in my area, I haven't seen his name come up yet. Thosemiracles of his are a hot commodity these days, I guess. Anyway, I knowyou have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you canhelp. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Sincerely, A Concerned Crusader