Friday, June 30, 2006

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Understanding Computers..

Yep. That just about explains everything... Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Document Control by the Monks

Document Control by the Monks

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abott. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, ' After all these years ... the word was ' celebrate '.' "

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Twinkie Lasagna?

Seems there's a new cook book on the market. The 'Twinkies Cookbook', by Theresa Cogswell, has new recipes for great dishes such as the 'Twinkie Burrito' or the 'Twinkie Lasagna'. Just two of the 50 recipes in the book. The cookbook was created as a part of Twinkies' 75th anniversary celebration last year.

All I can say is, EEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwww

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican

"The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope

Dopey leads the pack. Dopey my son ,' says the Pope 'what can I do for you?'

Dopey asks, 'Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, 'No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers Dopey, 'there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .'

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, 'Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, 'I'm sorry my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor - tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting: 'Dopey shagged a penguin!' 'Dopey shagged a penguin!'"

Monday, June 26, 2006

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com: "Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted"
Wed Jun 14, 2006 06:50 AM ET

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian state has removed nursery rhymes such as 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' and 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' from its primary school syllabus because they are 'too Western,' newspapers said Wednesday.
The government in the central state of Madhya Pradesh, run by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, dropped the rhymes, immensely popular with millions of Indian children, from its Class I syllabus taught to five-year-olds.
'We want our children to have value education in local color,' the Hindustan Times quoted Narottam Mishra, the state's school education minister as saying.
Children will now learn English-language rhymes written by Indian poets, papers said.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved. "
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And we send our jobs there... What does this tell you 'Big Business'?

I always wondered who would win in a fight...

.. and it's UPS over FEDEX with a KO in the 3rd round!
 Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Fucking Spam..

Look everyone!!!! There's another stupid fuck on the planet earth. How about this.. we take all the spammers wasting our time (because we have to delete it.. duh) and shoot them off into space?! That would be like cool and stuff.

This time the asshat of the day goes out to: (drum roll) Pharmamx dot com!! Wow.. what a bunch of fucking jerks. Did I ASK for you to spam me (on a BLOG no less) about your crap 'low prices?' DID I fucking request information from your company? DID I create this blog so that ONE person (me) can read your SPAM?

HELL NO.

Die, Spammer. Really. no one loves you. You don't amount to anything. You're parents hate you and want to tell you that you where nothing but a mistake the milk man made with your web footed whore of a mother.

Please, go jump off a cliff and make everyone happy. Hell, that's why God put cliffs on the earth in the first place, so dumb fucks like yourself could have a place to kill themselves easily.

So do me, God, and the rest of the earth a favor and take care of your unwanted, wasted live.
end it.


(Naaaa.. I love spammers.)

Amber Alerts and the stupid humans that cause them.

We saw an Amber Alert last night here in my home state. If any of you saw it, it has ended in the death of a 4 year old, attempted murder of a 2 year old and suicide attempt of their father.
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My heart goes out to the the mother. I'm Sorry for the lose of your child. I'm sorry that your 'mate' did this to you and your family. No one could ever need to go though such a thing.
and I can feel your pain and suffering.


As for the 'father' errr.. Sperm donor.
You have GOT to be the dumbest asshole I've ever had the displeasure to even hear about.
What the fuck where you thinking?? Jesus, I'm surprised as hell that God hasn't smite your
ass already for being a dumb fuck. I know that the Bible says that God loves all his children..
but damn you should have been an abortion.

What in the world gives you the right, to do what you did? Seriously? What.. where you sitting
at home, pissed off that your wife left you (for good reason , I see.. at least SHE's smart)
and thought to yourself.. Self? I think I'm going to kidnap my two kids and kill them.
and then so I don't need to go to jail..I'll kill myself afterwards!!! Yeah!!! that'll be a great
idea!!! I'm so smart.. I make things go.. Then you ran to the door, put your helmet on
and rode your bike with training wheels to her parents house?

and what excuses are you going to try to come up with? Are you going to be a MAN
and say.. "Yeah, I did it. I'm sorry. Give me my punishment." or are you going to
be a little asshat and say that you weren't in your right mind because your wife
left you?

Guess what jackass.. THAT IS NO EXCUSE. YOU KILLED YOUR OWN CHILD!
YOU made the choice and I pray to every higher power in the universe that in jail
your ass will be OWNED by Bubba AND his bitches.

AND I pray that you will be reminded every day of your life just what you did.
Welcome to Hell.

It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species

posted: 13 June 2006 (LInk above for the whole article)

Steven Hawking said:
"It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species," Hawking said. "Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."

You know.. I think that's the dumbest thing I've heard come out of the mane. Really.. think about what he said:

Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of."


So we can colonize other planets.. and do the same thing.

Stupid Humans.

Get over yourself. Get over the greed for money and power.
AND STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY.
.. and guess what? we wouldn't have a problem.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Sorry Officer.. I wanted to make sure you could get that glazed donut...

Someone has a good point.. that would be my reason for speeding. Posted by Picasa

Monday, June 12, 2006

Hillybilly Overalls...

You know.. Someone.. Somewhere.. thought THIS was a good idea... Posted by Picasa

Friday, June 09, 2006

How NOT to steal a SideKick II

How NOT to steal a SideKick II: "http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/
June 6th, 2006: The people in the pictures below have my friend’s T-Mobile Sidekick. Instead of doing the honorable thing when finding someone’s phone in a taxi, they instead kept it.
I have found 8 cell phones in the last couple years in taxis. EVERY single one I have contacted the owner (by leaving a message on their voice mail or by answering their phone and telling their friends that I have the phone) and returned it promptly. When people have found my phone, they have also in turn returned it.
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This is sad on more then one level. Why must humans be so freaking stupid that you need a website like this to tell you you are stupid?

Good luck man, and I hope your friend get's her Sidekick.. and I REALLY hope the morons that stole it in the first place don't have anymore children.. Stupid people should not be allowed to breed.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

One reason why it is important to learn English when you live in the United States



I can give you at least one reason why it is important to learn English when you live in the United States....... Posted by Picasa

Friday, June 02, 2006

No really...


Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself...