PogoWolf's Lair

snow

2009-12-27T16:54:00.001-05:00

bah humbug

wtf!?

2009-12-23T10:58:00.001-05:00

wtf could cause damage like this?

Wordpress..

2007-08-01T19:32:00.000-04:00

ok, So I'm made the switch. the PogoWolf blog has been moved over to Wordpress.. Why? because Google can't seem to figure out how to intragrate their shit, and Blogger needs some serious help.. =)

PogoWolf's WordPress Lair

You are an Idiot #1 - The Pro-Choice Bumper Sticker

2007-07-13T16:57:00.000-04:00

I saw this bumper sticker today on my drive home from work. Now beside the obvious keyword of CHOICE something else struck me as odd.

You see I know that Christmas started as a Pagan holiday to celebrate the worst of winter being over and how it was changed into a holiday about a man allowing himself to be killed for your sins and how it's changed even more to be more about ham and presents.

I thought to myself, Self? (Because that's what I call myself) this guy must be an idiot! OF COURSE, there still would be a Christmas since the holiday started century's before christens came on to the scene. So what are you trying to tell me? That you are an Idiot?!

If you own this bumper sticker you might want to read up on the Christmas holiday at a good website like the HISTORY CHANNEL and gain some intelligence on the matter and stop proving to everyone around you that you are an idiot.

Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted that other Christian denominations were not true churches.

2007-07-10T22:40:00.000-04:00

"Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches."

--Read the whole Article--
===========================

*Sigh* and so it begins.

For a man in the Popes position, a man of power, a position that just commands respect and loyalty, who's thoughts effect millions of people.. he's a total dumb ass.

This why Dogma piss me off, and why people piss me off. Here's millions of people that are going to start a holy war JUST because some asshat says 'If it's not Catholic it's shit.'
and they will blindly follow him just because some other group of men said: 'Yeah.. this guy.. he's da Pope'

WHY would the Pope try to start a fight? WHY would a man of that position be more worried about how/what other people think then worry about the greater problems of the Earth like the Bush presidency, world hunger, Global warming, and that we are slowly killing everyone off the face of the earth?

Growing up Christan and though all the studies I've done on different thoughts and ideas about 'God' or what ever you call your higher power.. they ALL say, pretty much, the same thing:

1) Live with Compassion for your fellow human.
2) Don't harm each other or yourself.
3) Earn the Respect each other.

3 simple rules. Which most people (Thank God) tend to follow.

*shakes head* I just don't understand it people. I don't understand why people get caught up on shit like this. HOW many people have been killed in the name of 'God' or some other god like figure? How many wars have been started because some people refused to believe in a God you tried to force them to believe?

if we ALL followed the 3 simple rules above.. there wouldn't be a REASON to have religion.
and 1/2 of the worlds problems would just melt away.

I'm going to start a church and call it 'Pogism' There is no church building. You don't need to send me (well you could if you wanted. ;) ) or anyone else money. You don't need to get out of bed early on Sunday to listen to some man basically tell you the same thing over and over. You don't need to stop looking at Internet porn.

All you need to do is follow 3 simple rules:
1) Live with compassion for your fellow human being.
(Of ALL races.. Which I really shouldn't need to point out)
2) Don't harm each other or yourself.
3) Earn the Respect each other.

That's it, that's all there is to it. Is there a heaven or hell? yes, but that's what YOU make out of life. It's YOUR life and it's YOUR hands. Don't try to hand off your life to something else to live for you. Better yourself, and make your life heaven for you, and if that's sitting around the house naked eating cheese-its. Who am I to judge what makes you happy. =)

If you can life by those 3 rules, welcome to the church of Pogism.
Everyone is welcome as long as you follow the rules.

and what if you can't follow the rules? Will you burn in hell? No, but then you can't be in our click and you'll feel bad because you can't be apart of the fun and we'll mock you behind your back and call you a 'Sheep' because you are unwilling to unlearn what you have learned and to afraid to think for yourself. Sheep just huddle together and do what they are told.

Are you a sheep?

Gummy bear dance and song

2007-06-04T23:29:00.001-04:00

Download this video

Can you watch it just once?!

Have you ever noticed...

2007-05-01T20:40:00.000-04:00

Woman have super powers!!! Really? Don't believe me?

1) They get wet without water
2) They bleed without injury (for ~7 days no less...)
3) and They make boneless things hard.

2007-03-07T19:50:00.000-05:00

I mean no disrespect.. but this is just freaking funny.

Why do we believe in God?

2007-03-05T22:16:00.001-05:00

The cover story in this week's NY Times Magazine is called Darwin's God and covers, from an evolutionary biology standpoint, why people believe in God. Most scientists studying the matter believe that humans have a built-in mechanism for religious belief. For instance, anthropologist Scott Atran sometimes conducts an intriguing experiment with his students:

His research interests include cognitive science and evolutionary biology, and sometimes he presents students with a wooden box that he pretends is an African relic. "If you have negative sentiments toward religion," he tells them, "the box will destroy whatever you put inside it." Many of his students say they doubt the existence of God, but in this demonstration they act as if they believe in something. Put your pencil into the magic box, he tells them, and the nonbelievers do so blithely. Put in your driver's license, he says, and most do, but only after significant hesitation. And when he tells them to put in their hands, few will. If they don't believe in God, what exactly are they afraid of?

Or rather, why are they afraid? One possible reason is that humans are conditioned to be on the lookout for "agents" and we tend to find them even when they're not there:

So if there is motion just out of our line of sight, we presume it is caused by an agent, an animal or person with the ability to move independently. This usually operates in one direction only; lots of people mistake a rock for a bear, but almost no one mistakes a bear for a rock.
What does this mean for belief in the supernatural? It means our brains are primed for it, ready to presume the presence of agents even when such presence confounds logic. "The most central concepts in religions are related to agents," Justin Barrett, a psychologist, wrote in his 2004 summary of the byproduct theory, "Why Would Anyone Believe in God?" Religious agents are often supernatural, he wrote, "people with superpowers, statues that can answer requests or disembodied minds that can act on us and the world."

Another reason for the instinctive religious impulse may be that people are able to put themselves in other peoples' minds, to think about how another person might be feeling or thinking:

Folkpsychology, as Atran and his colleagues see it, is essential to getting along in the contemporary world, just as it has been since prehistoric times. It allows us to anticipate the actions of others and to lead others to believe what we want them to believe; it is at the heart of everything from marriage to office politics to poker. People without this trait, like those with severe autism, are impaired, unable to imagine themselves in other people's heads.
The process begins with positing the existence of minds, our own and others', that we cannot see or feel. This leaves us open, almost instinctively, to belief in the separation of the body (the visible) and the mind (the invisible). If you can posit minds in other people that you cannot verify empirically, suggests Paul Bloom, a psychologist and the author of "Descartes' Baby," published in 2004, it is a short step to positing minds that do not have to be anchored to a body. And from there, he said, it is another short step to positing an immaterial soul and a transcendent God.

There's lots more in the article...it's well worth a read.

Source: Why do we believe in God?

Hmmm.. Yeah...

2007-03-05T15:08:00.001-05:00

A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical exercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?"

"No dear it's because you are 25."

Snickers Stop and Go...

2007-03-05T10:45:00.000-05:00

Snickers: Stop and Go
Uploaded by Razorbuzz

A COONASS

2007-03-05T08:55:00.000-05:00

A COONASS asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman who is seated over there."...and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She regarded the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants ."

After reading the note, the COONASS decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read: "Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, Porsche Turbo, Toyota Prius and a Toyota Matrix in my several garages; beautiful homes in Aspen, Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in LOUISIANA, There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.

But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches.
Just send the bottle back.

How to protect your computer...

2007-03-02T14:42:00.001-05:00

Born a Baptist...

2007-02-27T10:08:00.000-05:00

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

"You wuz born a deer,
you wuz raised a deer,
but now you is a catfish."

The Spanish Computer...

2007-02-26T13:19:00.000-05:00

The Spanish Computer

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

2007-02-26T11:26:00.000-05:00

Photo by: BloodRoses231 - Comment by: PogoWolf

Hmmmm.. She's Yummy.

Error'd: I Hope You Brought Your Discount Card

2007-02-20T10:13:00.001-05:00

Paul D. exposes the cutthroat nature of the grocery industry. One supermarket runs a sale on ground beef, then the store across the street has it even cheaper, and so on. Meijer pulled out all the stops and basically said "screw it, half a million off. What now, jerks?"

Source: Error'd: I Hope You Brought Your Discount Card
Originally published on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:30:00 GMT

Chicago Bears football practice was delayed

2007-01-26T09:43:00.000-05:00

CHICAGO (AP) -- Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again...

GO COLTS!!!

2007-01-25T08:18:00.000-05:00

Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a
faded Patriot's flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity,
Tom," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up
here!" Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.

On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the
corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Blue & White sidewalk, a 50-foot
tall flagpole with an enormous Colts logo flag, and in every window, a
Colts towel.

Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I
have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I
even won a few Super bowls."

God said "So what's your point Tom?"

"Well, why does Peyton get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said: "Tom, that's not Peyton's house, it's mine."

GO COLTS!!!

American Idol

2007-01-24T08:12:00.000-05:00

It's funny to me how some of these people have voices that sound like they gargled with razor blades and whome can't hold a tune in a bucket, with a lid, glued down, nailed down, wrapped in chains, padlocked, vaccum sealed, and wrapped in plastic wrap but STILL have the balls to tell Simon that he doesn't know anything about music. *sigh* Stupid Humans.

Pop-up Potpourri: Chocolate Covered SQL

2007-01-20T12:07:00.001-05:00

Matt M, there is no dialog there. You see nothing ...

So, what exactly is Google trying to tell Chris Balbontin?

Toby Gray, that's just not fair! How come my chocolate covered raisins never come with any SQL?

Philip Bierhoff thought it was a bit odd that TaxACT would be reminding everyone how overdue their taxes are ...

Sean K. Moran shares this tip from the Most Helpful FAQ Ever ...

I've seen some shady vendors on those comparison shopping sites jack up their shipping costs and low-ball the item price so that it'll appear at the top of the list. As Vickie discovered, that strategy didn't quite work here. Nice try TigerDirect!

Jeeze, Chris, talk about a wide-screen monitor ...

Although Marv found this EULA from World of Warcraft a bit confusing at first, once he broke it down, solved the cipher, decoded it, and read it thoroughly, it made a lot of sense ...

From Michael N, at a price like that, I can't imagine that laptop would be anything but a "top seller" ...

We all know that no one ever wins those "CLICK HERE FOR A FREE XBOX 360" ads, so I'm glad that at least one place is upfront about it (from Rob)...

Kostas Stroggylos hopes they come up with some sort of algorithm to go through those pages. 18 quintillion is a lot of pages to read ...

The irony in this last message (sent in by John) is that it was received via interoffice mail and is a photocopy of a fax of a printed screenshot. The "Send Report" manages to do the same thing, though a bit more efficiently ...

Source: Pop-up Potpourri: Chocolate Covered SQL
Originally published on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 15:30:00 GMT

WoW... LOL

2007-01-11T18:39:00.001-05:00

Guy dents and scratches another while parking... then leaves this note

The Perpetual Baby

2007-01-01T03:51:00.001-05:00

Brooke Greenberg is an infantile 13-year-old.
She looks like an infant, acts like an infant, and has been this way for the past thirteen years. Her parents have simply adjusted to the forever baby, as medical science is completely unable to explain her condition.
She’s been through a variety of medical near-misses, including a brain tumor that sprouted and then mysteriously shrank, and multiple warnings from doctors that sent her parents scrambling for a casket and burial outfit, only to have her recover rapidly and inexplicably.
Her parents say that while they initially expected her to die quickly, they now are fully prepared for her to outlive them all. Her father calls her the Fountain of Youth.
I hope she does outlive them. The existence of a genuine forever baby would please me greatly.
Brooke Greenberg [Answers.com]

Source: The Perpetual Baby
Originally published on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 01:58:39 GMT

SNL Short.. UNCENSORED.

2006-12-22T23:23:00.001-05:00

it's fun to stay at the...

2006-12-22T15:40:00.000-05:00

Real men Wii standing up

2006-12-21T23:05:00.001-05:00

Browsing the various Nintendo Wii forums around the web, I've noticed more and more people pratically bragging that they play the Wii sitting down, flicking their wrists instead of the beautiful and healthful full-body motion that nature intended. These couch potatoes shall not be suffered. For the Wii purist, I made this prototype for a tshirt:

A ladies version is also in the works, even though the pun doesn't work as well.

Source: Real men Wii standing up
Originally published on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 17:02:06 GMT

US Music Publishers Sue AllofMP3 for $1.65 Trillion USD

2006-12-21T19:57:00.001-05:00

In a move curious only due to its relatively late timing, the major record production labels in the US have filed suit in federal court against Russian online music distributor AllofMP3.com, seeking $150,000 USD for each single violation of copyright infringement for tracks the site posted without authorization.

Source: US Music Publishers Sue AllofMP3 for $1.65 Trillion USD
Originally published on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:44:22 GMT

==================================================

Who needs bands anymore.. just sue the shit out of websites. Jesus... Here's a hint to all would be bands out there.. you want to get known? publish your shit yourself. DO NOT even TRY to get a label. You don't get jack anyway. Fuck the RIAA. You don't need them.. really.

Twas the night before doom's day

2006-12-21T15:23:00.000-05:00

Twas the night before doom's day
and all through the house everyone
felt shitty, even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse and
Dad smoking grass, and I just
settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn I heard
such a clatter, I sprang from my piece
to see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn I saw a
big dick, I knew in a moment
it must be St. Prick.

He came down from the chimney like
a bat out of hell, I knew in a
moment the fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings with
pretzels and beer, and a big rubber
dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a
thunderous fart, the son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he rode
out of sight, "Piss on you all and
have one hell of a night!!!"

Whatever Happened To Jesus Christ's Foreskin?

2006-12-20T18:37:00.001-05:00

Few Catholic artifacts are as mysterious and as fraught with controversy as the foreskin of Jesus Christ, the only part of the Messiah left on Earth after his Divine Ascension.
After being lost for almost 1500 years, Christ's foreskin (known as the Holy Prepuce) was discovered in the small Roman town of Calcata, disproving a theory by 17th century theologian Leo Allatius that it ascended into heaven to become the rings of Saturn. The Holy Foreskin was immediately attributed with numerous divine miracles, including perfumed mists and freak storms. It supposedly had divine attributes: rubbing it upon the eyelids of the blind could make them see.
But in 1900, another holy foreskin showed up, this time in France. At this point, even the Catholic Church was starting to be a little bit ashamed of their little slice of Jesus and it was decreed that anyone who even spoke of the Holy Foreskin would be excommunicated and burn in hell forever.
Yet that didn't stop people from obsessing about it and in 1983, it mysteriously disappeared. Now David Farley of Slate wonders what happened: was it really stolen by sacrilegious thieves? Or were black-masked ninjas on a cleaning mission from the Vatican itself responsible for spiriting away the decaying sheath of Christ's dick in the middle of the night? We may never know what really happened to Jesus' foreskin.
Fore Shame [Slate]

Source: Whatever Happened To Jesus Christ's Foreskin?
Originally published on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:00:00 GMT

Family Guy Voices

2006-12-19T22:15:00.000-05:00

I've always wondered...

2006-12-19T10:51:00.000-05:00

So, as the three wise men enter the stable in Bethlehem, the tallestof the three smacks his head on the low doorway.He exclaims, "Jesus Christ!"Joseph says to Mary, "Write that down, I like that better than 'Derek'."

Superheroes on Screen - Dogs Can Be Heroes Too

2006-12-17T23:59:00.001-05:00

I sure hope this is better than Garfield

Source: Superheroes on Screen - Dogs Can Be Heroes Too
Originally published on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:27:00 GMT by Chip Chief

.. I can't be the only one that liked the theme song..

BABY FART!! HILARIOUS!!!

2006-12-16T12:18:00.001-05:00


Video of a farting baby, BEST FART EVER :D

[Video] Iraqi Kids Learn English

2006-12-14T13:45:00.001-05:00

US Soldiers help Iraqi Children learn their first English words.

Source: [Video] Iraqi Kids Learn English
Originally published on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 05:00:00 GMT

Calc5: Quick online graphing calculator

2006-12-13T23:12:00.001-05:00

What does the 5 in Calc5 stand for? I have no idea. Rest assured, though, that this slick Ajax calculator does support most numbers, including those greater than five. At first blush there's not a lot to set Calc5 apart from the crowd. It works as advertised. But then you get into the advanced math and graphing functions, and that's where Calc5 really stands out. While it's distinctly lacking in documentation, the built-in samples will get you started. You can use unlimited variables, you can do derivations, you can find derivatives, and more, but most impressively you can make fast, attractive graphs, both 2D and 3D. The 2D graphs are very cool--smooth lines, and a Google Maps-like interface that lets you pan and zoom with the mouse. The 3D graphs aren't quite as cool--they lack the pan and zoom features--but still. 3D graphs will always be cool. The site automatically saves your previous calculations (via cookies), which is handy, but there's no built-in permalink system for sending calculations or graphs to your friends and colleagues. I can only assume this functionality is coming.
There are a couple undocumented features (well the whole app is undocumented, so take that how you will) I discovered that you might find useful, though:

Pressing Ctrl+Enter is equivalent to clicking the "OK" button. Very handy.
You can link to an equation by putting it after a pound sign following the URL. So if you wanted to help your friend solve, say, 2+2, you could point them to calc5.com/#2+2. Your friend will still have to click on the "OK" button (I hope this changes soon), but it works. First person to send me a Calc5 link for the Valenzetti Equation gets a free trip on Oceanic Airlines.
Calc5 is fairly powerful, especially with those graphing features, but it's clearly still very beta. Once they get some real documentation in there and some more convenience features, it could become indispensable. For now I'll probably stick to Google Calculator for the easy stuff, and Instacalc for the more complex stuff--unless I need to do some advanced graphing.

Source: Calc5: Quick online graphing calculator
Originally published on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:00:00 GMT by Jordan Running

OH man.. =(

2006-12-09T17:16:00.001-05:00

A 13 year old boy was transported to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis today after taking 15 of his father's Viagra tablets.He's in serious condition with 3rd degree burns to both palms.

CNET's James Kim and family missing -- have you seen them?

2006-12-01T08:12:00.001-05:00

CNET's James Kim and family missing -- have you seen them?
Posted Nov 30th 2006 8:45PM by Ryan BlockFiled under: Announcements
We've received word that a respected member of our tech community, James Kim (whom many of you may know as CNET's senior editor of digital audio), and his family have gone missing. As we understand it, last weekend James, his wife Kati (above right), and his very young girls Penelope (left) and Sabine (baby), drove from their home in the SF Bay Area to Seattle. They were expected back some time Sunday, but were last seen by a hotel clerk at 5:45 PM on Saturday in or between Gold Beach or Portland, Oregon. We sincerely do hope they are all safe, and our hearts go out to the Kim family.We'll have more information as we get it. If you have any information as to the Kim family's whereabouts, please contact the SFPD at 415-558-5508 during normal business hours, and 415-553-1071 after hours
===========================
Update: it's worse then that.. He's dead jim.
my thoughts and prayers go to the family, and praise to the internet for trying to do all to help this family out in a time of need.

an open letter to '(Dr. WhoAmI)'

2006-11-24T23:28:00.000-05:00

*sigh* Well it's been a while I guess since I've needed to take a stance for total morons on the internet. Look, R-Tard. I didn't ASK for your SPAM. I didn't request for you to post a 3 page 'comment' that has NOTHING to do with the blog that you posted to.

That proves that you are a total dumb-ass. But you just needed to bring the Bible and God into the post.. *Sigh* I'll tell you what I pray for. I pray that ass-hats like you won't be able to breed so soon the internet will be free from useless sub-humans like yourself.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. God made cliffs for spammers like yourself to JUMP OFF of.

Look at this.. not only do you waste my time by needed to delete your stupid posts, but then you force me to call you all sorts of names and try to explain how you should just leave the whole world alone.

How to make your computer...

2006-11-20T14:19:00.000-05:00

... lower your heat bill!

Step #1: Take off your Case.
Step #2: Calculate PI.
or
run the most graphics intensive screen saver you can find.

hmm.. Toasty!

Parenthood

2006-11-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

-- If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

-- Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

-- The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. -- Avenge yourself

-- live long enough to be a problem to your children.

-- The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere and hide the keys to the car.

-- Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

-- The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

-- Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

-- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

-- Grandparents are similar to a piece of string; handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

-- There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

-- Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

-- Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

-- Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

-- Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

-- An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.

I used to think...

2006-11-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

I used to think there was a time and place for everything...
... until I just caught a workmate doing the 'Funky Chicken' in the hallway.

(and I really wish this was a figment of my imagination)

New Computer Viruses

2006-10-27T11:37:00.000-04:00

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking forviruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causeslittle purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting andre-counting

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, thene-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, butwill be back

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy...then discards it through windows..

How to Memorize a Deck of Cards

2006-10-23T16:21:00.001-04:00

How to Memorize a Deck of Cards Imagine being able to memorize the order of cards in an entire deck (or two) as quickly as they can be dealt. The secret of the card counters is a secret no more. Using the memory palace technique below, you too can memorize a random deck of cards in order with one viewing. It takes a little time to set up, but once you've got it down, you'll be able to amaze your friends.... Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Memorize-a-Deck-of-Cards

How to Discover the History of Your House

2006-10-23T16:19:00.001-04:00

How to Discover the History of Your House If walls could speak, oh, the stories your house would tell… If you own an older home, you've probably at some point wondered who slept in your bedroom long before you, when your plumbing was last updated, or, maybe, why that ghost keeps hiding your car keys. Want to get a glimpse into the secret past of your abode? Try these steps.... Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Research-the-History-of-Your-House

I couldn't help but laugh at this...

2006-10-17T09:02:00.000-04:00

Teenage Suicide; Cryptic Signature Leave Authorities Guessing.Miami, FL.
Trent Boozle.

A suicide note left by a troubled South Florida teen has sparked a extensive investigation into the meaning or identity of "kthxbai". The parents of the teen have expressed nothing but puzzlement at the bizarre signature supposedly left by their son of seventeen years. "[our son] was always a good kid." The boys mother said during an interview, "though he did spend all of his time sitting at his computer".The case, which was originally concluded to be an obvious suicide, has recently been re-opened after the parents demanded a more in-depth investigation considering the seemingly random group of letters the teen used to sign his final farewell."At first we thought it was some kind of 'word jumble' our boy left us in his final farewell", said the boys father, "We spent two weeks trying to figure it out, but it led us no where."Extensive InvestigationThe Miami Police Dept. have enlisted the assistance of their computer crimes task force to find out if there is more to this situation than a standard suicide."This is one of the harder tasks that we've dealt with here, simply because the only person who knowswhat these letters, [kthxbai], mean has taken this knowledge to the grave", states Felicia Reven, lead detective of the Computer Crimes Task Force in Miami.Currently, the Miami P.D. has five Detectives from the Computer Crime Task Force utilizing the majority of their high-tech machines to track down and decipher the 'code', and they estimate that it could take up to six weeks before they see any results.For now, authorities are asking that anyone with any knowledge about the meaning or identity of "kthxbai" to please come forward. Any information on the case can be direct to the Miami Police Dept. Computer Crimes Unit by clicking Here.

Bill Gates Inside Doom

2006-09-27T17:17:00.000-04:00


Bill is explaining how the future of gaming is Windows 95.

Never before seen family guy clip uncensored

2006-09-19T18:12:00.000-04:00


Clip that was removed due to obvious reasons. it was meant to shock a response out of seth green during screening. [THIS IS ADULT FOLKS] IT'S NOT WORK SAFE NOR MENT TO BE VIEWED BY ANYONE WHERE IT'S ILLEGAL FOR THEM TO VIEW IT.]

It's Coming (9/17/02)

2006-09-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

It's Coming (9/17/02)
================================
It's rolling in.
I can see it coming.
rolling and bellowing like smoke.
it's coming...

I can't run away.
I can not hide.
slowly it creeps closer
it's coming.

I can feel the cold.
the dark hand that grasps for my soul.
I try to run.
it's coming.

Face it head on.
soul full of hope.
I'm met with the hardness of the ground.
it's coming.

I run away.
faster and faster.
I look back.
it's coming.

darkness fills my mind.
my heart grows cold.
totally alone.
it's coming.

a voice in my head
a dark whisper
evil in all senses.
I'm here...

No farts!!

2006-08-25T13:54:00.000-04:00

Wouldn't have just been easier to state: "NO FARTING!!"

I think the life cycle is all backwards

2006-08-23T17:55:00.000-04:00

"I think the life cycle is all backwards

You should start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,
Then
When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
Ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no
Responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
Spa-like
Conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters
Everyday,

--- and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case."

Complaint Letters to Landlords

2006-08-18T09:58:00.000-04:00

Complaint Letters to Landlords
This is why English is so important in school.

1) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2) I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3) This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

5) I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

6) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

7) The person next door has a large erection in his back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

8) Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

9) Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

10) Will you please send a man to look at my water,
it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

11) Would you please send a man to repair my down spout.
I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.

12) Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap.
My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

13) I want to complain about the farmer across the road.
Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up,
and it is getting too much.

14) When the workmen were here they put their tools
in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
Please send men with clean tools to finish the job
and keep my wife happy.

Time to cringe...

2006-08-18T08:30:00.000-04:00

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's not unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

15. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

16. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Up on receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him ...

A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

18. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did.

2006-08-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

Endurance Challenge Mordred's Isle: Episode 1

Billy West rocks!!!

Grease is the word.

2006-08-15T15:34:00.000-04:00

Like Grease (the Movie/Play)?
Like Parodys?
Then this is just to messed up NOT to watch.. LOL

Greaser

Uncle Vader wants you...

2006-08-14T08:51:00.000-04:00

2006-08-14T08:41:00.000-04:00

Nothing more to say...

2006-08-11T12:21:00.000-04:00

Memory Alpha

2006-08-09T10:22:00.000-04:00

Main Page - Memory Alpha: "Welcome to Memory Alpha, a collaborative project to create the most definitive, accurate, and accessible encyclopedia and reference for everything related to Star Trek.

Started in November 2003 - Currently working on 20,304 articles - Join Memory Alpha and learn how to contribute"

and You think YOU are a Star trek fan?? Get out of the basment my friend(s), because this guy blows your knowleage out of the water.

WoW Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah

2006-08-08T15:30:00.000-04:00


A world of warcraft music video. Music by lordi with the ESC 2006 winning song. Current game, plus my current favorite group.. can't go wrong!!!! The power of Lordi comples thee....

Apollo 11 'UFO' - Buzz Aldrin

2006-08-08T14:21:00.000-04:00

Buzz Aldrin talks about the 'UFO' which the Apollo 11 crew saw on their way to the moon. He explains why they didn't describe it explicitly to Houston: “...those transmissions would be heard by all sorts of people and who knows what somebody would’ve demanded - we turn back because of aliens, or whatever the reason is.”

Dr David Baker, senior Apollo scientist: "The possibility that you might encounter aliens in space has to be considered in a very sensible and positive and realistic way; there were a lot of people within the program who went off later and became convinced that UFOs existed.”

Excerpted from “Apollo 11: The Untold Story”.

NASA: “I just talked to Buzz Aldrin...and he notes that the quotations were taken out of context and did not convey the intended meaning. After the...crew verified that it...was not the SIV-B upper stage...they concluded that they were probably seeing one of the panels from the separation of the spacecraft from the upper stage. These panels were not tracked from Earth and were likely much closer to the Apollo spacecraft....Apparently all of this discussion about the panels was cut from the broadcast interview, thus giving the impression that they had seen a UFO.” - David Morrison, NAI Senior Scientist, 7/26/06

http://nai.arc.nasa.gov/astrobio/astrobio_detail.cfm?ID=1568

2006-08-08T08:24:00.000-04:00

LED

This is just cool. A water fountain using UV strobe lights, luminescent-dyed water, and a timer to create the illusion of water stopping in the air, slowing down the splashes into the pool beneath, and even travelling backwards.

AOL Search Data Shows Users Planning to commit Murder.

2006-08-07T13:39:00.000-04:00

http://research.aol.com released a list of 20 million + searches by 500,000 AOL users. Contained in this list are social security numbers, credit cards and other personal information. There are some truly scary things in this database. User 17556639 is constantly trying to find ways of killing his wife.
=================================================

I really just can't believe this. WHO was the moron that thought this would be a good idea?
law enforcement perhaps, but then again, I don't want big brother looking over my shoulder at any given time. We live in a FREE country, which means we take the good with the bad.
Some people (like spammers) are fucktards that should be removed from the gene pool.
we deal with it because most of the people out there are good natured people. Good with the bad. THIS, on the other hand, is just ASKING for the Goverment to control our ever day lives.

They say there's no way to 'track' you.. BS. If they have these logging data you can be damn sure they have your IP address. If they have your IP address, then they have your User/Pass. if they have your User/pass they have your account information that includes your name, and address.

Search for 'How to kill my wife' and have the cops on your door step in 30 seconds falt.
sounds good in theory doesn't it? What if you wheren't the the one the searched for it?
what if if was your wife? brother? some jack-ass that broke into your house?.. worse yet, some black hat that searchs AOL for those 'nasty' things.. but it's all coming from YOUR computer?!
you've been framed. What if 'how to kill my wife' was really a movie or a book title? Perhaps a snuff film?

Point is, there's no way for anyone to really know the context of which the search was done. yes it would be possible to save lives, but there's too many ass holes out there that will use that information for their own personal gain, misinformation, and getting people into trouble because they just don't like you.

Think about that one for a moment.. All of a sudden the bully at High School has all your personal information; your likes, dislikes, favorite routes to walk to and from school, your classes, friends names, license plate, football games, band contests.

This fucking scares the jeebus out of me.

Deckchair trapped testicles

2006-08-03T13:47:00.000-04:00

Ananova - Deckchair trapped testicles:
"Deckchair trapped testicles

A Croatian man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deck chair and found his testicles had got stuck.
Mario Visnjic had gone swimming naked in the sea at the Valalta beach in western Croatia, reports 24sata.
His testicles had shrunk while in the cool sea and slipped through the wooden slats when he sat back down on his wooden deckchair.
But as he lay in the sun they expanded back to normal size and got stuck between the slats.
He was eventually freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deck chair in half."
------------
This has got to be true.. you can't make crap like this up.. LOL

2006-08-03T11:03:00.000-04:00

Bomb

WTF, Mate?! F*&king kangaroos

Star Wars: Blogs | Lucas Online | YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos

2006-08-03T09:03:00.000-04:00

Star Wars: Blogs Lucas Online YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos: "YouTube and fan-made Star Wars videos

Lucasfilm has been informed that YouTube recently removed from its site several fan-made Star Wars spoofs and parodies. We would like the fan film community to know that this was not done at our request.

Apparently the action was taken by YouTube as a result of a misunderstanding of a request to remove an item containing material taken from starwars.com without our permission. We have asked YouTube to restore any works that they inadvertently removed."

2006-08-02T08:20:00.000-04:00

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

One person made a comment..
It's like you can't help but watch.. Like Nascar.. you're just hoping that someone is going to fall...

Man skydives with turbine engines strapped to his feet.

2006-07-31T09:12:00.000-04:00


Man skydives with turbine engines strapped to his feet! And mantaines a 2000 meter flight path until the fuel tanks run out.. Freaking cool!

I WAS ROBBED!!!

2006-07-28T13:15:00.000-04:00

Kittenwar! May The Cutest Kitten Win!

2006-07-28T11:03:00.001-04:00

Kittenwar! May The Cutest Kitten Win!

Great site! It's like 'RatemyX' or HotorNot for Cats!!!

Joke...

2006-07-27T14:25:00.000-04:00

Like most puppies, mine is not finicky about what he puts in his mouth. He eats anything. But the day he swallowed a quarter, I panicked and called the vet.

"What should I do"? I pleaded over the phone.

My extremely laid-back vet answered calmly, "Swallowing a quarter is nothing to worry about. But if he does it again and a can of pop shoots out of his rear, give me a call."

Small Talk

2006-07-26T15:24:00.000-04:00

This is freaking Funny...

Teacher Arrested At New York's Kennedy airport today

2006-07-26T13:13:00.000-04:00

Teacher ArrestedAt New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of th e axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Yes!!! and let us watch..

2006-07-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

blink blink

2006-07-21T09:58:00.000-04:00

O.o

Strong Bad rules...

2006-07-21T09:57:00.000-04:00

Now this is how you make those stupid posters.

Knights of the Round Table (Search for the holy Grail) - Star Trek TOS Edition..

2006-07-19T08:40:00.000-04:00

Well I can't embed this Video due to request of the person that posted it.

However, you can see it if you follow the links.
IMDb] done to scenes from Star Trek the Orginal Series.

Freaking FUNNY!!!!!!!
This brings out the Pogo.
-----------------------------------------
Update 06:45 PM
Well it DID bring out the Pogo, until the owner removed it from you Tube..
GRRRRRRRR

Letterman's Top 10 George W. Bush Moments

2006-07-19T08:29:00.000-04:00

Another friend Quote...

2006-07-18T13:56:00.000-04:00

"If you aren't cheating you aren't really trying..."

and you all wonder where I get it.. just look at the people I hang out with.. hehehe

Dragonlance. The Movie

2006-07-17T10:56:00.000-04:00

Ok, now this could be cool. An Animated Movies based on the 'Dragons of Autumn Twlight' Book.

Cast:
Tanis Half-Elven: Michael Rosenbaum
Raistlin Majere: Kiefer Sutherland
Goldmoon: Lucy Lawless
Tasslehoff Burrfoot: Jason Marsden

Verminaard: David Sobolov
Flint Fireforge / Fewmaster Toede: Fred Tatasciore
Tika Waylan: Michelle Trachtenberg
Caramon Majere: Rino Romano
Fizban The Fabulous: Neil Ross
Sturm Brightblade: Mark Worden
Riverwind & Gilthanas: Phil Lamarr
Bupu: Jentle Phoenix
Laurana: Caroline Gelabert
Takhisis: Nikka Futterman
The Forestmaster: Mari Weiss
Elistan: Ben McCain
Pyros: Dee Bradley Baker
Flamestrike: Susan Silo
Onyx: Juliette Cohen

More information at the source. =)

Just too funny.

2006-07-13T10:10:00.000-04:00

This was just too funny not to share.. =)

MY Xbox360 scares me...

2006-07-13T09:06:00.000-04:00

My 360 sent me an Email this morning..

PogoWolf hit the switch and fired me up yesterday. His total gamer score is 190. He played Geometry Wars Evolved, Frogger, and then I was like, 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101... I'm just kidding, we don't really talk like that.

Quotes...

2006-07-12T16:08:00.000-04:00

"it was the stupidity of her dumb ass that was the straw that derailed the dumbass tolerance train"
=================

I love my friends...

PogoWolf.com Update

2006-07-12T12:51:00.000-04:00

07/12/06 - http://www.pogowolf.com update

Nope, still not dead yet. (You all wish). Lets see, I've added some more girls to the Gallery and some MP3's to the files area (they are PD) just for testing and sharing. Also, I'm working on a whole new layout, feel, and design of PogoWolf.com.. it's coming.. slowly.. I'm also working on a new RSS system for GamersVue so that's taking some time out of an already busy life.. on top of that, i just got PREY.. so, of course, I need to beat it. Which should be tonight.
[Source]

Humor...

2006-07-12T09:25:00.000-04:00

This was sent to me via IM from a friend of mine...

=================
I am nool about it I am not mad just a bit de de deeee for making such a dumb mistake
not* not nool
NO wait that was supposed to be cool
not nool or not
=================

And I thought it was funny and wanted to embarrass them on the internet..

Self-Stirring Mug

2006-07-12T08:32:00.000-04:00

This mug has a miniature battery-operated propeller at the bottom of the well that spins at 3,000 rpms at the touch of a button on the handle, automatically stirring your beverage and eliminating the need to dispose of stirrers or find a place to leave coffee-dampened spoons. At your command the propeller re-stirs mugs of hot chocolate, coffee, or tea, preventing chocolate or sugar from settling out of solution, and overcoming the traditional challenge of adequately mixing honey in a hot drink. The mug includes a lid to keep contents from spilling and to retain heat, and the lid can be placed underneath the mugs base as an impromptu coaster. The mug is lightweight injection-molded plastic sheathed in a stainless steel exterior.

I guess it was only a matter of time...

2006-07-11T10:53:00.000-04:00

More RIAA Foolishness Vias LockerGnome

If you’re not familiar with youtube.com, you’re missing a real treat. Thousands of videos are uploaded by people and shared for your viewing pleasure. Some aren’t so great, and some are plain stupid, but there are some real gems. I’ve gotten to see some music videos that I haven’t seen in years. But now the RIAA is in a panic again and sending out cease and desist letters. Does the RIAA have a clue as…

Wierd Al Interviews Eminem

2006-07-11T09:33:00.000-04:00

AL TV: Wierd Al Interviews Eminem

Ok, Who farted?

2006-07-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

It would seem that someone within the "royal ranks" passed wind whilst on the balcony much to the amusement of all.Notice HM the Queen's face in the first two photo's, then look at her final expression in picture three. How guilty does HRH the Duke of Edinburgh look?

A FIRE RAINBOW

2006-07-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

This is a Fire Rainbow. - The rarest of all naturally occuring atmospheric phenomena. THE PICTURE WAS CAPTURED ON THE IDAHO/WASHINGTON BORDER. THE EVENT LASTED ABOUT 1 HOUR. CLOUDS HAVE TO BE CIRRUS, AT LEAST 20K FEET IN THE AIR, WITH JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ICE CRYSTALS AND THE SUN HAS TO HIT THE CLOUDS AT PRCEISELY 58 DEGREES.

Wow...

2006-07-06T09:39:00.000-04:00

Well now, let's hope this works. It's a really great Animated GIF.

My huge Cock...

2006-07-06T09:36:00.000-04:00

So, I was talking to hot babes on the internet the other day, and one of them asked to see my huge cock...

Only in America....

2006-06-30T09:51:00.000-04:00

Talk about lazy...

Understanding Computers..

2006-06-29T09:53:00.000-04:00

Yep. That just about explains everything...

Document Control by the Monks

2006-06-28T15:02:00.000-04:00

Document Control by the Monks

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abott. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

We missed the 'R' ...

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, ' After all these years ... the word was ' celebrate '.' "

Twinkie Lasagna?

2006-06-27T12:59:00.000-04:00

Seems there's a new cook book on the market. The 'Twinkies Cookbook', by Theresa Cogswell, has new recipes for great dishes such as the 'Twinkie Burrito' or the 'Twinkie Lasagna'. Just two of the 50 recipes in the book. The cookbook was created as a part of Twinkies' 75th anniversary celebration last year.

All I can say is, EEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwww

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican

2006-06-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

"The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope

Dopey leads the pack. Dopey my son ,' says the Pope 'what can I do for you?'

Dopey asks, 'Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, 'No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers Dopey, 'there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .'

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, 'Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, 'I'm sorry my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor - tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting: 'Dopey shagged a penguin!' 'Dopey shagged a penguin!'"

Like I need to say anything...

2006-06-26T21:55:00.000-04:00

Lifes Choices...

2006-06-26T21:48:00.000-04:00

God, this would be like taking the Kobayashi Maru test!

Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted

2006-06-15T10:58:00.000-04:00

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com: "Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted"
Wed Jun 14, 2006 06:50 AM ET

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian state has removed nursery rhymes such as 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' and 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' from its primary school syllabus because they are 'too Western,' newspapers said Wednesday.
The government in the central state of Madhya Pradesh, run by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, dropped the rhymes, immensely popular with millions of Indian children, from its Class I syllabus taught to five-year-olds.
'We want our children to have value education in local color,' the Hindustan Times quoted Narottam Mishra, the state's school education minister as saying.
Children will now learn English-language rhymes written by Indian poets, papers said.

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And we send our jobs there... What does this tell you 'Big Business'?

I always wondered who would win in a fight...

2006-06-15T09:04:00.000-04:00

.. and it's UPS over FEDEX with a KO in the 3rd round!